~Sigh~

I’m tired. By brain hurts with all the mush that I have to sort out each day – My hand hurts, cause the geazer tripped & washing dishes in ice cold water is just horrible, my legs hurt cause I decided to go from zero situps & no excercise one day to 8 sit ups plus work out the next. My back hurts. My eyes hurt. Every bloody thing hurts.

I want to be in Karachi & I want to eat Khicri & Alu kheema. And having to cook everything you want to eat is no fun. I want my mom to cook stuff I like & I want dahi wali mirchain & Shaljam ka pani wala achar & imli ka khatta.

I want December to be done & over with. I want no more year enders. No more deadlines & special reports. I want to stay home for a week, with Sienfeld & Friends & movies & BBC Lifestyles & stuff like that.

After trying & failing to confirm one simple fact from NAB, FIA & the interior ministry – I was told, by my superiors, to just believe the news being aired at face value & that they’ll see if anybody contradicts or something.

Every one thinks it is lame to mad at this – and maybe I AM making a mountain out of a molehill. It is after-all, just the thin line between NAB suggesting 248 names to be included in ECL v.s. the ministry of interior actually issuing the order to do so. It IS a matter of just one step – which in most people’s view is not even that important a step. NAB has suggested. The ministry would act in due time of course.

But isn’t MY job at a damn NEWS channel is to make SURE that my information is not a layman’s information? Is it not my damn job to know exactly what stage a development is at?

And if I am going to criticize the darn ministry – isn’t it my DUTY to KNOW exactly what procedure is going to be followed before something gets done? Doesn’t not knowing, simply kill even the facade of objectivity?

But duh! Even if the anchors say NAB issued orders to include the names in ECL the public doesn’t really know that NAB doesn’t have the damn authority to issue any such orders. And ofcourse, it doesn’t matter because in the end someone will issue the orders and what is in details anyway, right?

The thing is, if I am not correct down to the dot, what right to I have to be heard on a medium that shapes the damn public opinion?

I hate doing things that I don’t feel good about.

P.S. Apparently Defense Minister Ahmed Mukhtar has been turned away from the airport, while attempting to leave for China. So, the ministry must have issued the orders by now. Makes most of my rant irrelevant. Duh!

The NRO hearing is drawing to a close. After a week of countless NRO related packages, ‘m glad to be moving on to the ‘disqalification’ controversy that is sure to asrise out of the decision.

Even though, I supervise the Voice overs of all twelve reporters in the bureau, I just realized, I still hate my own voice on air.

Very successful, very Happy Alhumdulliallah.

Two years back, at this ,moment, I was having a huge panic attack & was roaming around an empty house, in a daze – wondering how the hell I was thinking – wondering HOW I was going to survive away from everyone I loved – freaked about having to run my own place  having a husband to take care off & cook & clean & what not.

If I could see the future then, I would have freaked more. BUT this is not to say that it hasn’t been worth it. All the homesickness, the responsibility, the cooking, cleaning, handling the bills, arguing, fighting, crying & gaining weight has all been worth it in the end.

Alhumdulillah again.

I turned twenty seven yesterday.

Hmmmmm

I think the Fall of Dhaka or if I may, the Liberation of Bangladesh was a good thing. The miseries & the rapes & the slaughter was not a good thing ofcourse, but losing that part of the country WAS.  Imagine if we still had Bengal – the floods every year would have been like a golden goose for the gather-aid-and-use-it-for-your-own-good industry. The people would have been just too many to feed. The whole Geography, the politics, the differences, the issues! Yet another separatist movement, another way for India to create havoc, another potential hub for Taliban who excel at expoliting the aggrieved.

Tauba! Just imagining it gives me the creeps.

Dunya has been on-air for a year today.

Yesterday we got together talked about how every day spent at Dunya makes us realize why Geo is at number one. In the morning we cribbed & ranted about not being given any exposure in the channel’s promo.

In the evening, we ate cake & stuff & danced to everything from Dhan-tana to babu lalay.

All issues with Dunya aside – if nothing I still am proud of the fact that our team launched the channel that had been stalled for more than three years before us.

The quality HAS gone down lately, but then, just for today, I’d just take the ‘issues’ as tests along the way.

Happy first Dunya News – you have tested us in ways we weren’t expecting, you’ve taught us a lot – and here’s hoping, you’d actually benefit from the great Human Resource you have, and reach the heights you can.

.. ..Sadly, the busy day post is nothing exceptional like the Busy-Day Cake.

Eid brings packages of Bakras & public transport – while EId holidays bring the NRO, the first year enders and the likes. So today has been busy as hell. I wish I had more time to dedicate to the Year enders though. The NRO is expiring on the Eid day and the script could have been much wittier if I could only concentrate on it.

We haven’t been able to get a hissa this year cause of some emergency expenses and I have no idea what to cook on Eid.  We COULD go to MiLs place – but not inviting them over on Eid day is just a blow to my ego. So I have to come up with  menu, that doesn’t revolve around Qurbani ka goosht but is good enough for Eid.

Back in Karachi, I begged mom to cook Daal Chawal for me every Eid cause the excess of meat totally puts me off. Here, the no red meat policy is usually broken this Eid, but seems like I’d be cooking Chicken this time.

What to cook?

When to grocery shop? More importantly HOW to take time out to get some mehndi done?

Tomorrow promises to be much busier than today and so far I my Eid preparations are zilch.

Heh, Asif Ali Zardari, President of Pakistan – finally makes a public appearance, NOT as the President BUT as the co-chairperson of the ruling party.  Spinning some yarn about Bhutto-ism he talks of reaching out the masses.

The truth is I dunno what to think of this guy anymore. I loathe him – everyone loathes him – The presidency is at odds with the Parliament, the Army, the Establishment – and yet, the President retains a strong hold over both the party & the government.

Despite the fact that he is a pathetic leader – despite the fact that he has nothing but Benazir’s name to show.

How is this guy getting away with everything?